Oh The Curiousness Of It All

I've read probably over a thousand memoirs in the past forty years, covering everyone from former slaves to holocaust survivors to those with mental illness and people from recovering from every physical and mental condition you can imagine, plus some you probably can't imagine (at least I didn't until I read the books.) Transexuals, caucasians posing as blacks, therapists in therapy...I don't discriminate. I love 'em all. As long as they can pull something good out of their experiences and there's a positive outcome, I'm there.

In one of my regular forays into Amazon.com I happened onto this interesting memoir, Oh The Glory Of It All, by Sean Wilsey. This one caught my eye because of the social dynamics: Son survives crazy family and lifestyle in San Francisco where ultra rich demanding father dumps no-boundaries drama queen mother, who is the epitome of high San Francisco society, and marries her best friend, a less nice but more determined social climber society maven wanna-be. I was in the mood for some wood pulp, pulp non-fiction...Sounded like a winner!

One aspect of the writer's life in particular stuck out for me, and left me very impressed. Despite writing a scathing report of his messed up family's life, and offering quite a damning portrait of his mother, the two have maintained a close relationship. In fact in response to Sean's indictment, Sean's mother Pat Montandon wrote her own book, Oh The Hell Of It All. And then she dedicated it to him.

In the Slate article "Publish, Then Flee," Sean described his mother as being mortified by his disclosures while also being impressed with the accuracy of his research. She admitted that since his portrayals of others were so accurate, his portrayal of her must be at least somewhat accurate as well. Given that information, she was willing to take a long hard look at how others might perceive her as well.

Nobody's perfect and we all make mistakes, kids and adults alike. There's never been any such thing as a perfect parent. Believe me, I'm one, and I try like hell to be perfect, and I'm a perfectionist and very hard on myself, so I know. So why is it that despite all sorts of creeds like the Golden Rule, many people still can't admit they are less than super-human? Why the reluctance to admit to our mistakes? After all, we can't fix them until we at least admit to them in the first place.

Sean's mother may have made mistakes, but I have to give her credit for having the courage to admit to them and say she might just have to change. It shouldn't be that big of a thing, but since few people get to hear that kind of apology, it is. When a child's pointed out a parent's foibles in a public arena like a memoir, it's gigantic. So kudos to Sean and his mother. I think that kind of relationship is pretty rare.

Don't Give Up On Me...

Don't give up on me my peeps! Ultra busy! New blog entry coming soon!

Fun Tool For Finding Your Candidate

Having trouble deciding who to vote for? It seems like this election's candidates are unusually close in their goals. Here's a fun tool for finding out which candidate's promises best fit the issues you care about.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/politics/interactives/candidatequiz/

After you've done it, don't forget to vote!

I'm Bright & Sensible, Really

Did you ever have one of those days when everything comes out wrong?

I took our 14 yr old son and his friend to the drug store today to buy some strike-anywhere wooden matches and some tennis balls so they could work on their explosives experiments. I stayed in the car while they went in to get their supplies. A minute later, they came out and asked me to come into the store to buy their matches for them, because the sales clerk wouldn't sell matches to anyone underage, since matches are in the same category as cigarettes. No problem.

As the clerk took my money for the matches, I said to him in all sincerity, "Don't worry, they're not going to smoke. They're just going to build bombs." The clerk looked absolutely horrified, although he did manage to squeeze a little smile out for me when he saw me smiling politely as he handed me my change.

The boys cracked up all the way to the car. They thought it was hilarious. They had to explain to me why the clerk had looked so shocked at my remark. It hadn't even occurred to me that there was anything wrong with my comment. It made perfect sense to me. You see, my husband and I would much rather have the boys outside getting fresh air and straining their brains with science than sitting inside, rotting their brains for hours over mindless violent video games, like so many other parents allow. We've taught them safety precautions and how to handle explosives with respect and responsibility, so we feel secure in allowing them to experiment. Yet we would be absolutely horrified if we caught them smoking cigarettes. That would indicate that not only have they been lying and hiding their smokes from us, but that they are seriously risking their good health and may have decades of trying to kick awful addictions ahead of them.

Now, I ask you, is that so wrong?

As we drove home, I noticed a strange strong rubbery smell eminating from the back seat of my Explorer. After a minute I realized it was the tennis balls the boys had bought for their explosives. "Ew," I said to my son as he sat next to his friend in the back seat. "I hate to tell you this, honey, but your balls really stink."

He may never speak to me again.

{{{{{Patry}}}}}

Here's part of a Thank You letter sent out to participants in THE LIAR'S DIARY Blog Day.

Patry is completely overwhelmed, and deeply grateful. Her agent said Tuesday "was one of the most rewarding days --if not the most rewarding day-- I've had in publishing..." Patry's own thank you is posted on her blog. In the end, very nearly 400 bloggers helped move her novel from a ranking of 55,000 on amazon at the start of the day, to #1 in Mystery, 375 overall by evening. Those statistics prove the day was a success, but we knew it would be even before the day began because we could see the groundswell of support, feel the sense of community. Canada's National Post did a story about our effort on the 29th, and the next day, told us it was their third most-read online article EVER. We're hoping that others in the print media will now come on board. What took place was a remarkable demonstration of the power of the Internet community, and deserves to be told. And of course, we hope Patry's sales continue to soar, and more important, that her recovery goes smoothly.

Amazing! Hugs to Patry. {{{Patry}}} {{{Patry}}} {{{Patry}}} {{{Patry}}} {{{Patry}}}